It has not taken me very long to start resenting this process. I have managed to externalize my One Thousand Days, and now seem to believe it has been foisted upon me without my consent or control.
I don't think my brain works at factory standards. I think the fact that I feel trapped by my project(s) bodes well for completion, but it makes me wonder if I am simply a prisoner of my own obsessive behaviour.
Case Study: Mike and Diabetes
Mike spent his late teens and early twenties eating and drinking unbelievably sweet tasty things. His metabolism didn't deal with this well, and two weeks before his kid was born, his doctor called him at home on the day of the Diabetes diagnosis and the doctor's subsequent reading of priority rush bloodwork (the second in a week), to suggest Mike go to the hospital so professionals could catch him when he fell into his coma. Mike had started to eat more healthily that day, and went for a long walk, and said he would be fine. His doctor is a really good guy, and waited on the phone to hear Mike test his blood glucose level again. After that day, Mike's average blood sugar fell about 1-2 points per day, till it was a normal human's and not an Oompah Loompah's. Mike did 65 minutes of cardio on exercise bikes (he is on his 4th, having worn out 3 in the 3 years since the diagnosis) every night, making up minutes if he didn't do a full 65. He never eats desserts or sugary pop/juice.
I am crazy. I have been told by people who know how to moderate that you don't need to work out every day, and you can have sweets and treats every now and again. I know I have to do it this way. It is actually easier psychologically for me to do a workout every day than four days a week, and easier to give up chocolate cookies, yule logs, pie, double chocolate cookies, chocolate bars, chocolate milk, ice cream, man I would like some dessert, than it is to have them once in a while. In fact, my daily regimen and forgoing sweets is just another form of my overindulgence. My inability to moderate.
And now I am trapped in a project of my own making. It's like I'm Billy Pilgrim, not so much unstuck in time, but still moving down a set road into my future. That stupid two-weeks-ago-version-of-me, if he ever catches up with me I'm gonna punch him in his busted-ass pancreas.
Man, I could be playing Skyrim right now.
Okay, I posted the in-progress list. Please comment, question, critique, suggest. I'm no longer a person, I'm a character. and a democratic one at that.
-Mike
No comments:
Post a Comment