Day Eight - Project 5

Tuesday, March 19

  Friends, do you suffer from sleepless nights?  Does the constant tossing and turning from insomnia fill you with a desire for self-annihilation, for nothingness?  Do you, like the Bard said, wish to once again "Sleep, perchance to dream"?

  The cure is here!  Away with nights staring at your ceiling, finely crafting the insult you should have used on your seventh grade bully a quarter century ago, had you not been busy bleeding on the playground!

  Love's Labour's Lost is the answer!  In just three nights of attempting to read this.....classic(!)(?)(+/-)... you'll be able to sleep!  In fact, you'll be UNABLE to NOT SLEEP!  Your conscious mind will rebel at the thought of entering the play's fantastical precincts, and you will fall into sweet, protective unconsciousness, maybe even with a 10 lb Shakespeare tome falling heavily onto your snoring nose.  It's just that simple!

  Love's Labour's Lost may not be right for everyone.  If you suffer from Type II Diabetes, Sleep Apnea, Restless Leg, Headaches, Stuffed Up Nose, Delusions That EVERY Shakespeare Play Is Great Literature, if you are pregnant, are hoping to become pregnant, or hoping to engage in activity that might make someone pregnant, Love's Labour's Lost might have serious (no, not light-hearted or comical) side-effects.  Talk to your doctor to see if Love's Labour's Lost might be right for you.  And talk to your librarian about a book that might be more enjoyable.

  Love's Labour's Lost should not be used while operating heavy machinery.  It should not be combined with other prescriptions for this condition.  Combining Love's Labour's Lost with The Illiad may cause coma or even be fatal.

  Isn't it time you bored yourself to sleep?

  Isn't it time....for Love's Labour's Lost?

-Mike