Another day of rousing frustration and personal failure. I watched a number of videos on the internet all showing me how to cast on, knit and purl, and reminding me that I'll come up with my own way of doing things.
I have. I use the wrong way.
Saw one bunch of Youtube videos with hip, cool people talking about all the hippest, coolest, knitting news and methods. I swear, hipsters, man. "Now when I knit, I like to get my yarn by taking apart old sweaters." Oh, for love of criminy. Now me, when I like to make a sandwich, I like to get my mustard and bologna and bread from sandwiches I just dismantled, so my refrigerator footprint is smaller. GET A KNITTING APP FOR YOUR PHONE! I'm hoping this nonsense is regular updates on all the places one can get cool retro yarn before it becomes cool and mainstream, and not just playing another stupid phone game, but a game where you knit.
I have determined that the older and closer to death I get, the less afraid of the nothingness beyond I shall become, because of my increasing annoyance with and contempt for the generations immediately following me. "Hey, great-grandpa, how are you feeling today?" "O hell, boy, what are you wearing on your head? Someone unplug these things."
Knitting still seems utterly incomprehensible. I can play video games where it requires a whole lot of combinations of movements and patterns of button pressing and character abilities. But, knitting, man. Maybe I'd get better at it if knitting gave me little achievements to unlock. Or finish moves where a bad guy dies when I knit a stitch.
Maybe I just suck at turning yarn into clothing.
I was at a family party today, where multiple family members can knit, and one in fact was. I didn't even mention I was trying to learn. I think this is the fastest I have ever developed a complex about something. WHOOHOO! New personal best!
Sigh.
I bet Mark Twain could knit.
- Mike
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